Originally Posted by
Deuce 
I havent read a lot about the codependency.
Back years ago, people helped each other out a lot more than they do now, and they thought nothing of it.
People are still helping each other. A couple years ago my city was badly hit by flooding. People came out in droves to help restore homes and possessions of neighbors and strangers.
Read up on codependency because it is not in any way related to the helping hand people give to people who meet with obstacles in their way.
The help that a codependent lends to an alcoholic or drug addict is the kind that stops the alcoholic or drug addict from feeling the consequences of their own actions. I remember hearing someone say years ago that it is important to always make sure the right person is feeling the consequences. In a codependent/A relationship somebody certainly will feel the consequences but it's not the A.
The codependent calls the A's boss making excuses for him/her missing work (when the truth is the A is hungover). The codependent bails the A out of jail so that he/she doesn't have to spend a night in jail. The codependent gives the A a car to drive back and forth to work though their car is wrecked and their license has been suspended--all because the codependent is convinced the A will lose his/her job without a car to drive. The codependent gives the A money for food when the A intends to buy more drugs or alcohol. It's these sorts of situations that a codependent falls for--none of which is helping the A. It's doing for someone else what he or she is totally able to do for him or herself.