Thanks Don,
Reply was much appreciated, I guess my issue in my head is I turn up and get told I'm nowhere close yet, I've got a long way to go until I give up properly and let it control me, but it's getting close and I don't want to see it go further, but I really don't think I got the willpower to stop it without help of others, hence something like AA. I'll check out links and ta again, I hope things good for you,
Scott.