I was reading your post and then when I got to the end, I thought oooooh. Watch out. Major warning signs. You gotta get out of it, somehow. How about a backup plan of some type? Involve your husband with your backup plan if you can. Say you have a headache, and gotta lay down - then go to your room and read sobriety literature. That's one of my tricks for getting myself centered again. Mainly reading stories of those who were down and out - that helps me remember why I'm sober. Good luck.