Making Amends to an Emotional Affair
I am in the process of working step 9 and had a question on who I should make amends to. I had an emotional affair with someone (it never became physical) during my time drinking. I know that I used this person and treated him badly during that time and through my recovery. I used him for support and to fill emotional needs, but gave very little in return. Ultimately I completely cut off contact with this person to work on my marriage and my recovery. Despite his pleas to me for answers of why I ended all contact without a word, I would never respond. I know I hurt him deeply. My question is this: I am trying to do the right thing with my marriage and so I cut all communications with him. But I also know I caused him a great deal of pain and anguish by my actions. So do I reach out to this person and make my amends in person or do I continue on my course of no contact with this person. I still have very strong feelings for him and care for him very much, but I am trying to do the right thing for my family and my marriage.
Any advice is appreciated.