Thank you all so much. It was really scary posting. Right now I'm not really doing it with any help. I'm thinking that when the kids return to school I can go to meetings if I need to. I need to remember how good I feel when I don't have any alcohol. I feel so much better. Emotionally and physically. And I like the one day at a time. It is really hard for me to think that I will never, ever have another glass of wine. I can't imagine it. But I CAN say that "Today-I will not drink". I can do that.
I quit smoking sucessfully finally a few years ago. Never to return, not even one drag. Because I finally realized after many attempts (like attempting for years) that I can't have just one. I can never ever have just one. I can't bum a cigarette and not want more. And I never looked back. Not that I don't get cravings once in a while but I know that is not an option, ever.
I like the yellow light analogy because it is so true. I think my yellow light is broken. I'm broken. Sometimes I really hate that and it is hard to accept.
I'm just kind of everywhere in my head today. I don't know who I am if I'm not a drinker. I don't know how to not be a drinker. But once upon a time I didn't know how to be a non-smoker and that's worked out well. Now I can't remember what it was like to be a smoker (at least-not the things that I liked about it)
Thank you all for being so welcoming.