Welcome, Smitty! It seems to me that normies and alkies have traffic signals when it comes to drinking. Normies have a yellow light so they can slow down and come to a controlled stop at the red light. As an alkie, my yellow light is busted. I careen into the red light at full speed which usually involves me blacking out or just passing out. I'm afraid there's no way to repair my yellow light so instead, i choose to not take that first drink and go at the green light. It's too dangerous. I've driven that path enough times. I know where it always ends.