Ken - I say this with the best of intentions:
Get over to those AVRT threads and let them help you identify your AV.
Your choice is made and now to work!
I am angered and saddened that your experience with the PM is the direct result of an ongoing "feud" between differences in opinion on what works for people in recovery.
I know for me that crashing cymbals, trumpets blaring and dancing bears never held much appeal for me, and I easily tune them out. This cuts both ways from both camps and it really has to stop.
Loud and obnoxious usually makes me cover my ears, and as a result, I can't hear what is being said.
If each one of us steps back a bit and tries to remember what it was like to be a newcomer, what we say (or don't say) will have more of an impact and be a true service for those still struggling.
So, Ken, I say this with all sincerity - get over to the AVRT threads and get past the "gibberish" of it all. You have my support, and I believe in you.
No one is happy you drank; of that I am certain. Don't fear speaking honestly of your struggle and that it might be providing others with ammo. That is terrible you feel that way!
I am AA recovered but know that it is not for everyone. Sadly, I have a lot of people in my life, both here or now deceased, that have shown me that it is not for everyone. I wish everyone, no matter what method they use, success in getting addiction out of their lives.
My hope is that you will be treated more respectfully in the future, and you find peace and confidence to move forward on your path.