It's admirable that you posted your slip here, Weasel. As Dee said, noone is happy to hear it. None of us should ever be. I understand the "intoxication" of the big city. I live close to New Orleans, and there is a similar vibe going on. For that reason I've stayed away from there ( a town I love ) for the last 18 months. Just recently I am feeling strong enough for a visit.
I think you already know what you need to do. Be well, friend.