Summerpeach, I know you mean well, but I can only read your comments and not hear the tone of your voice. The repetition sounds like you aren't trying to be nice or helpful. And please, understand, I'm venting because I'm having a low moment.
When I'm feeling low, it doesn't feel very good to be called a negative person.
Okay, I let it all hang out here. I thought we could do that here.
Listen, the fact of the matter is I am not a negative person. I am fun, happy and lively when I'm happy; I'm sour and gloomy when I'm sad.
I have a meditation practice that I love with the most kind, funny people I have ever met, but I've only been with them 2 months. It's helped a lot with evening out my emotions. I highly recommend it to everyone.
The dating is a recent thing, an effort to branch out. It is Online dating as I just don't know many people and like I said, going to bars alone feels weird and the kind of events I like aren't exactly pick up joints.
I had a particularly obnoxious and uncomfortable date last night and I was charming and listened to him and tried the make the best of an incredible orange globe of a sunset, an absolutely excellent band and then a beautiful walk in the park. But it was an incredible effort on my part to keep the conversation light and flowing and enjoyable. He would talk for five minutes straight spouting off things that were supposed to prove how smart he was. So, yes, at times, I lost my patience and corrected him.
My vent is because I feel low and lonely that I have been on this track towards loving myself more, expanding myself more, but the results haven't materialized yet. I am impatient.