I think it's a very mid-Atlantic thing to be cold and a bit detached from society. I live outside of Baltimore and right up the road from DC, and that is kind of how things are here. I lived outside of Philly for awhile and that reigned true too.
Depending on what dating site you are using, you can kind of filter out the jerks. When I was on a dating site, I made it very clear that I am smarter than the average bear. If they couldn't keep up, then they need not apply!
I am an introvert and I have a hard time making new friends. The things that worked for me when I moved to town was getting involved in some volunteer work and going out with the people I work with after work. I got to know some great people by donating my time at something worthwhile to me (a local bookstore/exchange). The people that I work with are typically much more conservative than I, but as teachers we can kind of be diplomatic about how we talk about those issues.