I'm still venting a little because of that terrible date (with the arrogant guy). You'll permit me. Really I think I just get frustrated that I can be talented and fun and I feel like I'm butting my head against a wall sometime. Vacuum.
I live in Manhattan and that IS the problem. Like-minded people, but hard to find and there social group all but tied up. I'm not in my 20s anymore, going to bars and clubs alone feels weird, other events, talking to other patrons isn't usual, exchanging phone numbers... people seem to guarded for that - it's never happened to me.
LillyRoseMary suggested that I am finding people based on hwatI expect to find (or that my date was arrogant because I was looking for someone arrogant - wrong, it was a blind date). Maybe, in which case I am really in trouble because I will really need to play a real mind trick on myself to believe that it was me who caused the situations I have witnessed. E.G. the people I work with: There are several women I have invited repeatedly to events and turned down repeatedly, Friends I have from before my marriage I have to schedule two weeks in advance,another newly one and hardly fought for friend has just started a relationship and I am often being blown off for the boyfriend. So many people that I talk to, but again, no one close.
Again, I am venting, so please do not suggest churches or classes or 'doing activities I like.' I know you mean well, but I am doing them. They're lovely - no friends yet, but nice while I am at them and they keep me busy, but I am venting.
As venting I will tell you that I went on my fifth disasterous date last night and I really don't know what's wrong with me. I wanted to call a friend, trying to ask "Am I so terrible that I keep attracting these doughy, soft-brained people" but then I realized that anybody I have to call doesn't live here and that made me feel worse because then it's like I not only attract doughy, soft-brained people, but I don't have anybody other than these people who want to be with me. I am supposed to date one of these guys? Is that the idea? I cringe!