I was in that cycle for many years, too. All the regret, anxiety and remorse the day after is terrible. I was thinking yesterday how much time I spent in bed recovering from a binge, and it was a LOT. What a waste.
What works for me, is to think that first drink through to the end and the misery it'll bring.
A program of recovery is a great idea. AA has saved many lives. You'll be with, and hear stories from, people who drink like you do.
If you put the effort of procurring alcohol, imbibng it and recovering from it into your recovery you can't go wrong.
Many of us have been in your shoes and are recovering. You are not alone.
Post here as often as you feel you need to. We're here for you.
Best to you.