has anyone who has delivered an ultimatum to their partner (its me or the drink)have a success story? meaning is there hope that he will wake up to what he has lost?
My experience was that the only hope I had of anyone waking up was for ME to finally wake up! I gave him so many ultimatums & I walked backwards from all of them because it was clear he would not stop & I wasn't ready to let go. This went on for several years!
he loves the bottle more than anything else. finally today he told me that he is prepared to lose me and our family, because he will never stop drinking. i know that too. so he is gone.
Mine also told me he would never stop. I have no idea why I didn't LISTEN to what he was saying & respect it - that is, act as if what he said was what he meant. I wish I had. I would have saved my poor children so much pain.
My daughter is in rehab for the second time - she went in again on her 19th birthday. My younger son recently spent his 21 st birthday in rehab.
If I could turn back time I would listen to what my alcoholic husband was saying & I would act appropriately. When I look back on it it's like I was the one who was drunk! I sure acted like it!
I hope you make better decisions than I did. The consequences of "magical thinking" are horrendous.