It will get better Fallow
I couldn't cope either when I felt like I was white knuckling it. To drink or not to drink became an obsessive thought round and round and round. Fighting in my head between me and the addictive voice. Mentally exhausting.
I feel much better this time round as I have removed the option to drink. I don't drink, simple. When that annoying voice comes calling to say oh but you do, or you can... then I shut it up and tell it I don't and I won't. Try as much as you can not to think about drinking at all.
You can do it