Jad - I've been where you are right now, and all I can say is this.
Over time, the emotional and psychological abuse by the alcoholic (and I will say not *all* alcoholics are abusive) causes you to believe what they say about you. And what he is saying about you by his behavior is that his feelings comes before yours, his reputation comes before your dignity. I can't tell you how many times I have heard my AH explain that he needs to feel loved & admired - no matter the crap he doles out to me. He has actually said he doesn't care *why* he doesn't feel loved or respected - it's just what he wants.
I am explaining this because alcoholics can't be the bad guy. They need to constantly remain victims to get them off the hook of their behavior. This is a paraphrase of a local rehab counselor, who also said that once in recovery, when alcoholics or addicts become aware of all they've done they become suicidal really fast. So, yes, he will insist upon apologies once he has you back in a place where he feels comfortable again. This is him attempting to get his power & control back, and to put you back in the "FOG" (Fear Obligation Guilt).
Oh, to be 25 again. I am 31 and I would do almost anything to get back the last 6 years. Pray you don't find yourself wanting the same thing 6 years from now.
I know you are feeling hurt, discarded and alone. But the truth is, his treatment of you has absolutely *nothing to do* with your actual worth. I hope that makes sense.