Housing a Young Coke Addict struggling with grief
Hello everyone. I am here for advice. My husband and I are considering offering housing and assistance to the son of a very close friend who has a cocaine addiction. To shorten the story, this young man is 22 years old and a college student who lived at home and commuted. His father passed away last Fall of a natural illness and his son fell apart and started using cocaine and alcohol to numb his pain.
His mother is having a difficult time dealing with his addiction. She sent him to rehab in the spring and he completed 60 days and then left against advice. He came home and started attending NA meetings per the rehabs suggestion, and that didn’t last. He quit and started using again within weeks. He actually said that he got hooked up from someone he met at the NA meeting. His mother has since turned on that, and has been paying for him to go to therapy. It does not seem to be helping, as he is being a terror to his mother. Not to her personally, but staying out, coming home obviously high, drinking at home. Last weekend she bagged up all his possessions and put them on the porch while he was out. She said she had warned him and she was done. She is also grieving her husbands sudden loss and trying to figure out how she will now survive as he was the main breadwinner.
She actually called my husband when he came home and found his stuff outside. He was high, angry, swearing, pounding on the door, etc. My husband calmed him down, and brought him to our house.
I should mention that my husband has used cocaine in the past, but it has been several years. He is very stable now, and he really wants to try to help this boy. His father was one of his friends, a man that gave him some wonderful career opportunities. I think he wants to do it in part to honor his friends memory.
We have so far only offered him temporary housing in our basement, and he has been saying he is going to move into a friends house (who also lives with his parents). My husband says he needs some structure, and he has asked me to let him do this. I don’t have the heart to say no, but we don’t have children yet, and I don’t know what to expect with someone this age.
I have been reading here, and thought I would finally post and see if any of you have some insight.
Thank you in advance.