Not that I was planning on drinking again, but it hit me this afternoon when I was coming back from the shops:
In less than 12 weeks, I'll be living in 'that London'. And I won't have anywhere to come back to. No safe little bolt hole.
All those 'not yets' come to mind, and I remember why I have to stay sober. Because if I don't, I risk so many things.
I don't want to drop out of my course. I don't want to lose my fiance. I don't want to lose my home. [And yes, those two are tied together].
I have to make this work. I knew that drinking wasn't an option, but this has really brought it home to me.
And I'm scared. It's taken me a couple of hours to realise just what was going on in my head, but now I know. So much hangs on me not drinking.
But I have the tools. I have the support of people on here and in AA. I have the support of my fiance. I'm going to do it, thanks to you.
Love and hugs to all of you. Because together we can do what I couldn't do on my own.
