Dear Limiya and Englishgarden.... both of you speak of prayer and spirituality. This resonates very strongly with me....reading about what you both say - the strangest thing has occurred to me - that even though I am heartbroken (H and I have been together for so many years - been through everything together) - but I feel a sense of peace. Peace that I surrender - and peace that I now have time, real time to educate myself properly to this addiction, and time to find out who I really am, and time to pray, and time to think, and time to reflect, and time to must love unconditionally, from a distance.... and I trust God, the Universe, and I am thankful (in a strange way) that H had the 'courage' to be so firm with me - to force me 'out of his life'. I have to respect this too - it hurts like hell - but sometimes there is no 'nice' way to say things to the people you love. I suspect he is hurting and is afraid - and I admire his strength to potentially lose 'everything' in order to fight his addiction. It is still difficult to comprehend that if you love someone so much, why you can't possibly still keep them in your life WHILE battling with recovery - but I now realise, that as the 'non-recovering addict' I cannot possibly comprehend what H is going through... and I thank God for this time apart... and pray we will both grow stronger, and learn to stand on our own two feet, and pray we have a chance to be together again - but that we will both be stronger and be able to support each other better....