Is there ever hope of a loving relationship
Dear all...I have recently joined SR (and blown away by the support of 'strangers' and the wisdom and willing to share). I joined when my darling love, best friend of 10 years, and who I have been in a serious relationship for the last 7 years - who we have spoken about a future and marriage... who became addicted to cocaine in 2007 - spent 4 months in rehab a year ago - and now has been in recover for a year.... who out of the blue almost 2 weeks ago told me 'I need to pull back, otherwise I won't make it' (H was referring to recover and the possibility of relapsing) - I only know this because he spoke to my sister (whom he is also very close to) - He suddenly one night didn't arrive to take me out to dinner (a first in 10 years) - I called and called but no reply. As the days went by with absolutely no response or phone call (he was still keeping in touch with my sister) - I bumped into him and I asked him to please explain what the matter is...he just started to scream at me "Don't push me - I will tell you when I am ready". I stupidly asked him again and with that he screamed "Get the hell out of my life"!
He called my sister in the morning to say to her that his feelings for me have not changed, that he loves me, but that he needs to focus solely on himself as he wont make it......I find this so frightening, as I am the one who has been his daily support - through rehab etc etc....it is so hard to not contact him (but I have to respect his wishes - and I have listened to everyones advise on SR).....the sad part for me, is reading peoples comments, is that there seems there is never really hope for a loving, long term relationship with an addict.....can it really never work? We have been friends and loves for so many years...must I really walk away?? I am privately heartbroken!!!!