It IS really hard and MANY of us have gone through the same thing.
The curiousity just KILLS you,no?
(it is a withdrawal pain of an addiction---codependency)
In years past,when the person I cared about disappeared for about
3 months...I paid a visit to the 'boyfriends' house.What a mistake that was.
A scumhole beyond imagination----if you need a primer watch the popular
television show "hoarders".Trash,garbage and filth up to hip level,clothes
strewn everywhere....humans living like animals.
Yes,she was there---zonked out of her mind.The reason I regret going
was now the image is indelibly in my mind,and is how I am going to remember
her.
A middle class wife with a family & life,home and retirement----who
surrendered it all to become a live in 'dog' to a hard time ex-con in Charlestown.She
surrendered her
life to the devil of addiction,and there is nothing left of the person I once knew.
I am telling you this so that you do not repeat my mistake.Perhaps curiousity killed
the cat,perhaps not........but it certainly burned an image into the mind that cannot be
removed.
I don't know about crack,but the long term prognosis for heavy opiate abuse is
EXCEPTIONALLY POOR.
Triage is not cruelty.It is the marshalling resources for the survivors most likely to
benefit.Don't exhaust yourself trying to give CPR to a corpse.There are wonderful,inter-
esting,and profoundly life-affirming people all around you---spend your limited resources
on THEM.
......or go to the cemetary and start digging.You may even be the first one
to revive a person long dead through your exceptional heroics and your determination to
never throw in the towel (like I thought I would be)
Better yet,there are billions of fish in the sea.Stop fishing in the sewer and go to the
University,the workplace,the park,or wherever people are doing interesting,fun,and vibrant things.
Me? I'm staying on my side of the Charles (a river).No more curious internet trolling
of jail websites,etc.
She has made her decisions.And now I respectfully submit the time draws near
for you to make yours.
(Make it a good one!)