So, so, so what I needed!!! I am 5 months out of a 20 year (gulp!) dysfunctional relationship and was having a mini pity party. For the first time since the split, I drove past his town. Actually found him, walking his dog. Got out to say hello (I was feeling very weak).
Thankfully, he was polite, but it was clear that he did not want to talk to me. I think that was God, protecting me. So, I quickly hightailed it out of there, and believe it or not, the self pity was less after I indulged my poorer instincts. It didn't crush me the way I thought it would.
It DOES get better, it DOES pass. There is more good than bad in ending this relationship.
Thank you for your post. I needed reinforcement. That's what SR is here for.