I just wanted to say thanks all. There is some really useful advice in this thread. At the moment, I over-analyse a lot, and I think I need to do what I need to do and put the focus back on me. The guy in question, had done me a really big favour in the past, so in some respects we had been v. close, but at the moment, it's not right for me.
I'm going to work on myself (and talk about this at meetings... if I'm in AA may as well share what's getting to me).
appreciate the advice all, v. useful.
And Sharp, thanks for reminder, I need to be grateful. I seem to be missing that at the moment.