how do I do that?
Hi everyone,
I discovered SR a few days ago, looking for some kind of help on the internet. Since then I've been spending a lot of time reading pages and pages, and I find this place very, very reassuring. Thank you all for being here.
I'm 28 and have been drinking quite a lot for the past 8 years
A couple times during the past few years, I quit drinking for a month or so, mostly on holidays, and it was ok, I could handle it. But I was always going back thinking that if I could quit for a month, I was not an alcoholic.
And each time I quit, I felt a disconnection from society, from my friends, and from the people I work with. I am a musician, and I work and tour a lot.
These past two months have been tough. I've been trying not to drink everyday, and consequently, I've been binge drinking even more every time I was going out (can't recall the number of blackouts).
I was aiming at less, and I eventually got more.
Once I start drinking, I can't stop. The first glass is the enemy, so I've read, and learned. If I try to stop and go to bed, I panic, and can't sleep. Often on tour, I'd go out by myself when all the others were gone to bed.
My main problem is how to stop drinking when I'm consistently being offered alcohol. When you're a musician, and especially on tour, alcohol is literally everywhere, from lunch to after party. Alcohol is part of the whole process (after-gig beer, debriefings with a drink, celebrating a good show or forgetting a bad one, business meetings etc.) All my bandmates drink but I don't think any of them has a real problem with alcohol.
I find it extremely hard to make a decision and stick to it since temptations are always surrounding.
I don't know if you have lived a similar situation. I don't know what I expect, but just being able to write all this down is nice, so thank you for reading!