Trilogy

After 29 years of marriage to an active AH- I am 47, been married to him since I was 18 and clueless about alcoholism- I am finally taking a step forward to be proactive rather than reactive. I am scared to death I am making the wrong decision. We have 3 beautiful and successful grown daughters and have built what seems from the outside an extraordinary life. I have come to the point where I cannot stand to be around him or even talk to him when he is drunk. And he is always drunk. I actually set this boundary 3 years ago after an incident where he contacted a former HS girlfriend on facebook,had some interaction with her, and lied to me about it. I was devastated. He admitted it was from poor judgement due to drinking, but he continues to drink. I have become acutely aware of the lies, deception and blatant disregard he has for me. I do not want to live like this; I deserve better, but I am overwhelmed with the idea of drastically changing the world as I know it. I have recently contacted a family law office and set up an appointment for a free consultation for a separation agreement. I am not personally ready for divorce, although he frequently threatens it but makes no moves towards it. I am afraid that once I get the ball rolling I won't be able to stop it if I want to. I have always just reacted to his behavior but his recent disrespect for my wishes financially have brought be to the point of needing to be proactive to protect myself.