My dad has been gone for many years & despite being an addict, he also loved me & my sister very much & worked very hard in his sober years to counteract some of the damage inflicted on our childhoods. With all of the reading I've d one here on SR, he seems to be a very big exception to the general rule.
One of his favorite sayings was, "It takes a little sunshine & a little rain to make a beautiful rainbow. When life seems full of rain, remember it's necessary to get to the rainbow."
He also taught me that women can do everything men can do & often in a more organized way. Don't worry about who you will marry he said, worry about who you want to BE.