Originally Posted by
hydrogirl 
Well, your SD has not yet asked to take care of her Mum, right? Try not to awfulize something that has yet to happen. Hard, I know....
And yes, at 13 years old, it would be an incredibly damaging and unfair burden for her to be the 'hospice nurse' to her still actively drinking mother. If it were me, I would take advantage of the residence order only if needed--i.e. your SD says she wants to go care for her Mum.
I'm so sorry that all of you are going through this. You, your SD and husband, and even her Mum are in my thoughts and prayers.
I love that word - awfulize! I see what you're saying, but her mum will make her feel that she has to care for her, we know that, and she will feel that she must. Of course, she is only 13 and therefore must abide by what we say, as her resident, legal parents. But who wants to put on their kid when they're having such a stressful time. Alcoholics, yes, because they are selfish and never see how their behaviour affects others. We have to live with every decision we make for this child.