The only thing I want to add, Weasel, is that we are definitely not " so much better" than you ( as you said in your post). We are/were just like you..... no better, no worse. No more capable or deserving than you. We...are...you. Our circumstances may be different, but in some fashion, we all have been where you are. I am 17 months sober now, but I vividly remember my heart breaking. I finally decided I wanted to be free.
It's obvious you want to get and stay sober. It's truly a lovely way to live.
Now's the time.