Welcome back Roselian
Some times I think it's best to focus on the bottom line - you're drinking...and it's leading you into bad decisions, and like you say, a downward slope.
You were lucky in the scenario above - and there's so many other things that can happen to us when our common sense is impaired.
I'm worried for you.
I had to accept that however much I didn't want to stop drinking, it was destroying my life my health and my future and - in fact - it very nearly killed me.
I really hope you decide to do something about your drinking Roselian, because honestly - things really won't get any better.
D