I don't think anyone here will judge you. If you want to quit and need support, then we will be here for you.
I did the things you talked about for years, I felt horrible pain and guilt but kept going back? Why? Because I am an alcoholic. It took me stopping, and saying, I'm DONE, I will never drink again. I'm NOT long time sober, but I know I am sober for good. No doubt about it. Once I said I'm done, I was able to ask God to forgive me and allow me to forgive myself. I have not done the sluttiness thing for many years but it still hurt every day.
You have to decide to change and forgive yourself, tell yourself your not that person anymore.