Maybe relapsing or something.
I dont remember when I fell off the wagon really. I have been drinking just now and then with few disasters.
Been partying with friends ,that was really fun and nice. I have been isolating myself a lot so going out and meeting people have been good for me.
Good stuff is that I am still doing good in my job. And I will continue to work there this fall after the holidays. They are happy with me and want me to continue.
But bad stuff is that I was unable to finish my degree on time and will finishin the middle of this fall.
Other bad stuff is that I again got involved with a person who has abused me in my past , of course I was drunk ,lonely and pathetic. I really struggle with general sluttiness while drunk and hate myself afterwards. With good reasons. Last weekend I went in to a car with a guy that had beer in his car. He invited me home for drinks and I did go. He did accept that I did not want to have sex and drove me home in the morning. But still He was old and ugly and wonder what he was doing cruising at night in his car with beer in his car. I had been out with friends that wanted to go home ,But I was not satisfied. I wanted to party and drink more alcohol.
I am lucky that I did not get hurt or raped or anything.
I dont want any advice or comments. Just want to empty my thoughts and feelings.I know I am pathetic.