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Old 06-27-2012, 07:35 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
lizatola
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You stated that you are distrustful of the binge drinking coming back again. As long as he is drinking any kind of alcohol, you will always have that mistrust in the back of your mind. It's very difficult to repair a marriage if there are trust issues and it's something you may want to bring up with him at some point if he's open to it. My AH wouldn't be open to any interference from me regarding his personality issues or his drinking. He's the type of guy who needs to make any and all decisions for himself, no matter the consequences.

Also, my AH is reading a book called "The Anger Trap" and I know his psychiatrist told him to read it last summer but he never finished it. He's reading it again now but hasn't spoken to me about it but I think it's a good book on helping you find the root of your anger and how to deal with it. Anger, for my AH, is his 'go to' emotion for anything; if he's depressed, anxious, frustrated, etc he uses anger to express himself and it has always been a problem in our family life. He got put on Paxil and Trazadone for the anxiety and sleep problems and, although they helped to some degree, I think the meds just put a band-aid on the issues. He really needs to do individual counseling and AA, but that's for him to figure out.

I like what Freedom said above, though, about addressing the alcohol issue before any other type of therapy. Yet, if you AH doesn't see the drinking as the problem nothing you say will convince him otherwise. It really is important that you take care of yourself and I hope I hope things continue to go well for you guys. Just remember to watch his actions and keep taking care of YOU!
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