Hi Rella,
From what I've seen, this is pretty typical alkie behavior. They keep us involved in their sickness by keeping the connection alive. I would find it highly inappropriate (not to mention disrespectful) for this person to continue to show up at my home unannounced. If I was concerned for my safety or being harassed, I would not hesitate to get a restraining order or injunction against him. Also, if someone bought me something or paid for something during a relationship and asked me to pay them back when the relationship ended, I wouldn't give him a dime (unless that had been the arrangement such as borrowing the money, etc.). Notice how I say "I" cause this is what would I would do and you do whatever you think is best for you.
I've had to make these kinds of decisions and often hesitate cause I'm afraid the other person will get mad, but I'm getting much better at it cause I have to take care of me. It is really empowering to take charge of my life for me and not let someone else dictate how I behave. Peace to you.
justired