I think if you take care of the alcohol problem first...Who knows what will happen with the other one....I have a good friend in AA that had a tri-fold addiction.....Alcohol...Gambling and women. He was able to take care of all three by removing the alcohol and he saved his marriage and has 30 some years sober. I wasn't into swinging...But I did lose my wife to alcohol....I guess I was more of a cheater than a swinger....You can add liar in there too. I'd give removing the alcohol your best shot...And take it from there,.