Welcome to the group. I knew i finally had enough with alcohol when i went to bed every night regretting my day and hoping the next would be better, dreading it would be like that day and knowing in my heart that nothing was going to change unless i changed. I went from a functioning alcoholic to a pseudo-functioning alcoholic to a stay in the bed and only get out to pee, refill my drink or buy more vodka kind of alcoholic. The transition from pseudo to the latter was staggeringly quick and once i was there i wallowed in it for ages because the only further to fall was 6 feet under.
I found the only way for me to quit was to stop making deals with myself (i can quit for a while to prove i've got control) and leave the hooch forever. It just takes the guess work out of the equation and makes everything a lot simpler. Most people find that focusing on the here and now (i will not drink today, this hour, this minute) to be the the most effective way to keep sane through this journey. It's the only way i've been able to do it. I don't contimplate sobriety. The enormity is too much for me. I'm not a swinger so i don't know how that aspect of your life may be a trigger for drinking but you may have to come up with a different view of swinging. A different way to get into the joy and thrill of it without alcohol. Heh, sorry! I've got nothing there! ;-)