thanks everyone for your replies. I'm at day four and feeling stronger, I'm working through talking to my friends and family about how I'm going. I see myself thinking oh maybe I can cope with it, maybe I can go back I even had a bad day today and thought about it but I didn't do it. I didn't drink today and tomorrow I won't drink either but just one day at a time. I've got to go really, really, really slowly.
Old habits die hard I guess.