Hi ghammer,
I'm in the same boat as you are. No kids here, but my drinking is not an every day thing. It has gotten out of control on more nights than I would care to admit, which is what brought me here. I'm tired of upsetting myself and my loved ones.
I think it's great that you came here to check it out. I'm only 3 days in, so I don't know how much advice I can give, but looking for help certainly never hurt. Right now, I am trying to just keep busy with my work and my school and my boyfriend, and not worry about the friends whom I really don't want to tell about this. If you are worried about losing your friends, why not take some time not thinking about them just yet, and focus on yourself and your family? Being confused and worried is probably a good first step and one you should take a little time to figure out.
Anyway, I don't know if any of that helps, but I am glad you are here and worrying about yourself. It's when we don't worry about ourselves that problems don't get fixed
