yea, that really brings back memories for me jstar, the last time i went back to drinking i had 5 and a half months sober, it only took five days to get to the point of not working anymore, then i was just getting drunk, there was no euphoria after that, i must have used it all up fast, but now that i'm sober again, it's coming back, just in smaller sustained doses, a little better every day. I'm sure you know it's never gonna work again for you, it's just so damn tempting, and then, we have that first drink, and the mind has had some time to repair, build up some good feelings, then bam, a drink of alcohol, the juices start flowing, and we (or i) can't stop. it's fuedal. All you can do is save what you have left and get better. I really hope you can stay sober, heck, i hope everyone can stay sober, the world would be so much better off.