jstar - That's the point I reached too - just before quitting. The fun and relaxation that it used to be was gone. There was no joy, no excitement - just irritation and wondering where the next drink was coming from. Didn't want to go to the movies (what, 2 hours without a fix?), took it with me shopping, even - would dash into the ladies room & swig down a beer (so I could face the produce department?). That's how enslaved I was. How could I have justified it - and yet I kept going for years that way. I promise you there is life after alcohol - you do not need it the way you think you do. It's just a lie we tell ourselves.