someone here used the analogy once of one of those hidden pictures. Where is you stare long enough at a picture you can see a different image? And then once you see it you can't 'unsee' it.
I think that's very accurate when applied to life as an alcoholic. Once you realize you're an alcoholic. You can't 'unsee' that and go back to 'casually' drinking 8 (!) drinks on a Saturday with your family. It is what it is. An alcoholic's binge.