I remember when drinking stopped working for me too.
I felt like there was no more lonely, desolate and frightening place in the world.
There is life after drinking though jstar and it is wonderful.
It takes a little wearing in, perhaps - we need more than a little patience as we learn to live again, sober - but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
Things get better that way - trying to moderate, things only get worse.
I hope you'll make the leap again soon
D