Buntzhouse, I am so with this GirlfromCo on this one. Dee74 can correct me here, but there has been nobody in my history on SR who has come here and learned that, yep, it wasn't really a problem for them after all.
Please do some more reading in this forum, and you can also use google to search the entire website for words such as 'moderation'. Type this into your search window:
site:www.soberrecovery.com moderation to see what others, just like you, have learned.