This does not sound ridiculous to me at all; it sounds very familiar. I, too, had never had alcoholism in my life before my AH and his family and didn't understand it at all. It was a non- issue. I will now not drink around my AH, but I feel maybe a bit "deprived" for not being able to have one on occasion. I also feel foolish, because he is still actively drinking and I know he is sneaking it and hiding it anyway, even when he presents himself as not drinking. I actually find myself on occasion fantasizing a future without him and having a relationship with someone I can drink "normally" with on occasion- a glass of wine while out to dinner on the weekend. Although I don't think it could ever feel ok and normal again since it has affected my life so much and for so long.