I am IMMENSELY appreciative of all your replies and words of encouragement. It has been quite helpful in motivating me to take a firmer stance with myself and seek outside help.
I have just attended my first AA meeting in about 7 years. I got a lot out of the meeting. I even saw someone there that I had not seen in almost 15 years. Kinda trippy! I plan on going back to the same group tomorrow.
Hector, I went to rehab for pill and meth addiction back in 1999. I am very familiar with the 12 steps, and the kind of dedication it takes to become sober. Unfortunately, right after I got out of rehab, I lost my job, my fiance', and my home. I had to live in my car in the dead of winter for a few months until someone finally stepped in to help me. During those cold depressing days, I found alcohol to be a solice. Therefore, I never put any of the knowledge that I gained from rehab into action before I started on another destructive path.
It's only been the last year or so that I finally realize just what I have become.
I can't say I've not drank the last couple of days, or that I won't do it tonight, but I know that quitting is going to happen, and soon (most likely tomorrow after all of the alcohol in the house has been consumed this evening). It's only my "Faith" issues that are holding me back now....Well, that and the fact that the boyfriend that I live with has the same exact problem that I do. (Fortunately, he wants to quit too, so we just might be able to get through this together. If not, I have to get through it on my own).
Forgive me if I rambled. I'm trying to multi-task here, and I'm not very good at it.
