SO sad for my kids look what I did!
Every day I watch and listen to my AH interact with the kids and cringe. the reality is I was so sick back when I met him that the only thing that mattered was playing the alcoholic/codie game. I was so selfish, I just wanted to chase after him and make him love me. Sick sick sick.
Now that I've seen a few healthy relationships up close, I can tell what makes a man a good father. My dad was also a screaming A (no surprise there) so just didn't know what to look for, or prioritize healthy checklists when looking for a mate.
It didn't matter that he's a screaming A--I knew that then. Well, I didn't understand what that meant exactly, but I dumped a very stable, wonderful, Indian man to be with this sick screwed up drunk white guy. I was so so sick.
He has no idea how to parent in a healthy way. He sits on the couch and plays violent video games instead of going outside and playing with his sons, who desperatly need a strong father figure.. He doesn't teach them ANYTHING, and never has, except how to drink and act like an an idiot. Oh, what I would give for a time machine. My heart is broken for my children today. today he tried to talk to our 11 year old but instead just talked about his feelings and how his son "made" him feel bad. It makes me so sick. I want to scream. I can't stop crying.
In order to have money to work, in order to be able to move out I have to work. I have to leave them with him, during the day only, in order to make money and move out. But I don't want him to be their father anymore!!!
I"m looking for therapy for all of us and will take the 14 year old to al-ateen. I don't give a **** what he says either.