Thanks everyone
Buffalo, he's a drug addict and not an alcoholic, but same deal right?!
Since my ex before him (the one I was with for 5 yrs) was a Narc (I wrote about this when I was last here) I've read so many books, sites and talked to my therapist about personality disorders, I can write book on them. I also made a thread a long time ago about how I believe all addictions are symptoms of emotional and personality disorders.....but that's another topic
I was diagnosed with PTSD back 2 yrs ago from something that occurred with my ex back 12 yr ago. My therapist felt this was the cause of much of my bad choices and actions.
I'm returning to therapy in 2 weeks
All the healing tools I've used in the past to overcome are not working this time
Anvil, the thing is, all responses of flight were in full gear, I thought this guy was such a loser, but then when we would meet to hang or talk, he was different than what he talked about. I was in denial to the fact that he was really a sick person.
But there is some sensors off in me from all these 12 yrs of trouble I've created for myself.
Katie, it took me courage to tell my family and friends since I knew what their reaction would be. And the irony, is I am a Naturopathic Practitioner in full swing in my practice and I heal others for a living. Great job for a codie, so feel SO humiliated that I lowered myself to be with this guy.
I'm having a TOUGH time with forgiving myself this time. It's not like he hid his insanity from me, he told me all about it in the first week I knew him.
My pain is greater now than ever...not from not being around him, but from my own failures.