Well,
I guess just the way you told us.
You are very angry, justifiably so. Usually it was at the point when I was so angry I couldn't see straight that I got strong and just said what I said.
Let me ask you this? Is his behavior hurting you? Do you think he cares that he is hurting you?
There is always a way to speak nicely without being mean and hurting someones feelings. My belief is if you tell the truth you won't hurt someones feelings. Keep it unemotional if possible and just state what bothers you.
Get to Al Anon and stop being the victim here. Take charge of your life and let him take charge of his ...... HIS LIFE is his responsibility, not yours.
Take care,
Judy