Ed, I'm going thru a similar situation right now with my husband, we too have just separated, it's been very tense with not much communication going on. I'm trying to deal with my own issues while he focuses on his recovery, but it is not easy and thoughts of worry and doubt pop in my head all day.
I've found posting on this board helps and seeing how many people have been and are going thru the same type of stuff. I have not attended alanon yet, it's difficult to find the time with work and kids but I do plan on checking some out and hopefully finding the right fit.