welcome to our forum. It's a great place to come while you begin this journey of working on yourself.
I remember when my now ex husband was in early recovery. Our respective counselors didn't cleear us for couples counseling for over a year. We both had way too much work to do on ourselves.
I hated the indecision and ambiquity of everything.... I wanted reassurance that if I "followed the rules" then things would turn out okay. I finally had to accept that things were going to turn out "ok" just maybe not the way that I wanted them to be. Finally, I got to the point where I realized that all I had any control over was how diligently I worked my own program. I figured that it was all time well spent and that no matter what happened in my relationship I would be in a better place with myself. It took awhile for me to get my thinking to shift but once I did I felt a whole lot better.
You are investing in your future no matter what so I hope that helps a little. It's a really good reminder for me right now!