Welcome to SR. We all understand the confusion and anguish of loving someone who is addicted. The thoughts that won't stop running through the brain......it makes it very difficult to concentrate.
It sounds like you have a great counselor. Counseling, meetings (I go to Nar-Anon and Al-Anon but there are others as well), reading......it has all helped me. Recovery takes time. The hardest concept for me to grasp initially was how to let go of outcomes. How to keep my thinking in "today". I still have to work at it.
Your counselor's analogy was excellent. With addiction, we aren't dealing with trying to save someone from a swimming pool or gentle river.....we're attempting to save them from a riptide. There is no doubt that both parties will drown in that riptide until one of them (or both) let go of each other and begin swimming independently--parallel to the shore. Unfortunately, one (or both) will often continue to allow the riptide to take them further and further out to sea.....or one or both will start swimming against the riptide. Both of those efforts will have a poor result.
I hope you stick around and share your journey. You may not only find that it helps you but it also helps others who are struggling to find answers.
Welcome.
gentle hugs
ke