Help. My life is crumbling.
So, I was set to marry my fiance of two years in May. He was sober the entire time we were together. In December, he began drinking again. He relapsed several times since then. It started out with him disappearing for weeks at a time. I broke up with him in early Feb. Most recently, about 6 wks ago, when he had 2 months sober, we considered getting back together. When I said no, he again relapsed, and began to harrass me, calling me, texting, emailing. He also began to harrass my mother, calling her at 3 am and saying "your daughter is a f#cking c#nt." I am now trying to get a restraining order because he most recently had been threatening to kill me.
I have tried not to burden my friends during this time, though I really could have used them more than I did. My BEST friend has been really tough. I did not see her at all during all the time he was harrassing me- she would say things like she was too tired to get together. I called her on average 2x per week. She also minimized what he said to me, which amazed me, saying things like, "he only said that he would probably kill you, I don't think he will really try, " despite the fact that he had come banging on my door.
recently I asked to talk to her because I was angry over the lack of support I was getting from her. She responded that she didn't want to see me for a while, because she had her own issues (which is ok), but also because she didn't want to have a conversation where i was mad at her. This really hurt me, the way she wrote it I didn't know if our friendship was over, and didn't understand. She does this frequently, where if I dare to want to talk to her about something I am dissatisfied with in the relationship, she will have her say, and then withdraw before I can speak. It has been over 2 wks now. She sent me an email apologizing for how harsh she was in her first email, but I am so angry now at her lack of support and how she has minimized what has been the toughest thing I have ever gone through, I don't know if I should give her another chance. (The issues that she is going through is that she is depressed, which I know can be difficult. I have really been there for her, though she hasn't been there for me).